Knitting during worship

Several years ago, while still attending the Unitarian Church of Marlborough and Hudson (UCMH), I began to make a habit of knitting during worship service.

I enjoy the meditative qualities of the knitting during worship and I am pleased to have spent my time productively. When I work on a prayer shawl I also get the satisfaction of contributing to the community while I am with the community.

But sometimes I am using the knitting to buffer myself from the intense emotions that can arise during worship and that is disappointing. My attempts to "be here now" are undermined. This habit started when I was overwhelmed with responsibility at UCMH. I wanted to protect myself.

I wonder what would happen now if I didn't knit during the service? Would I be bored? I will try it soon at UUCBS. Funny, I feel some anxiety about it.